*blink blink*

I must had mentioned it to you, otherwise how would you know what am I talking about all this while.
It came kinda too abrupt, but perhaps I should seen traces and premonitions about what is going to happen.
I welcome you with a chary soul, taking each step with deliberated pause, watching you crossing over the border of my heart. I had let you in with a blissful sentiment, rolling waves caught me off my guards.
Your care and attentions are puffy clouds that style the bright empty sky. I say, hey there, are you a cotton candy?

你要的爱。

虽然不曾怀疑你，还是忐忑不定
谁是你的那个唯一，原谅我怀疑自己。

我明白，我要的爱，会把我宠坏，
像一个小孩，只能在你怀里坏。

你要的爱，不只是依赖，
像个大男孩，风吹又雨打，生活自由自在。

对不起，我好像给不了你要的爱，
它的出现，太远了，我不想去追。

开不了口，它跟我的喉结纠缠，
我看着你，惭愧了，心虚了。

我们放下吧。两年的时间很久，
我会好好的充实自己，成为很棒的那个人。

那天，我们再续，你我都会很完美的结合。
可是，别犹豫地去爱，你我都可以。

不想你了。我会狠下心不再这样，不一样的，想你。

昨天，我还有想到你。

突然发现到，我旧的手机里竟然还有你的讯息，而且看了我心有五分钟情起伏不定。看到我对你说话的口气，我觉得我也有过去，一个我不太想去怀念的过去。虽然我们有快乐过，可是我觉我真的不听话，那个洞是我自己跳下去的，结果就是我感觉到疼了。你们说的对，那是我自找的，活该！

今天我想说，人看开一点，对人对事如果能好好去经营，或许结果会不一样。我向前迈进，有点孤单。我本来就是这样的人，你们把我约束的太紧了，如今我繃开你们的圈圈，有点撇下你们的感觉。可是我真的和你们的生活方式不太一样，我无法接受，曾经努力过配合你们，可是这样的生活无法满足我空虚的心灵。

我讨厌那样的我，黑黑的，像臭虫一样，会给人讨厌！还有那莫名其妙在我手上留下污质的虫，现在我手上留疤了！(就以前听过人家说有一种虫尿在皮肤上会留疤，我发现过后就拼命戳破皮肤，哪里知道它会退掉，另一处我磨破皮肤的就留疤了！）或许人家并不觉得那样得我很令人讨厌，可是我都不喜欢我自己，还会有更糟的事吗？

我自恋，我知道，你知道，他也知道。哈！好像大家都知道。上课都会自拍一下。

可是我觉得自我感觉良好，真的会让人多一份自信，做起事来也会快乐一点点。
努力去做自己喜欢的东西，那份喜悦，也会让你有自信。
可是你懂吗？喜欢的东西不一定是容易的，或许某些程度上的困难，让那东西更有挑战性。我跟男人一样，喜欢那种很难得到的感觉，越是艰难，越想得到它。
应该说，越漂亮的东西，肤浅的我越要占有它，彻底地征服。
它就是a-Lin。
之前朋友跟我讲，你不是应该给它取个名吗？想了几天，也决定好了，


它就是a-Lin.

还有，法文也快把我搞疯了。上完法文课，我都有飘飘的感觉。。

前阵子都有跟家人拍照，挺开心的，因为我好像没有全家福。

哥哥长得像妈妈，我却长得像谁呢？难道我就是传说中从垃圾桶抱来的孩子吗？哈哈。。

Just for you

“看不懂，看不懂！”
你的心声。

Mystified Complexion

You know what makes me smile just like the innocent child who was in the amusement park. That tangling smell of happiness is always there. You knew it all along isn't it?

Criminals leave traces here and there and that's how they got caught. A smart one would know that he need to wipe his ass clean before he leaves. I noticed and forecast. Perhaps I should not be in the picture in the first place. Things would not had end so soon. Please forgive my selfishness.

It had been days when I last thought of you. Perhaps time washes away those memories, those feeling I have for you, its going away bits by bits. You know what? I survived.

So I did, survived. But things had been different. You brand me into someone like yourself, which I detest it, but I chose to be like you.

Days passed, the moon still rises in the dark sky. Complications of entangled sensations, I'm showered by affections. I'm as obfuscated as before, passion and zeal caught me off my guard.

Please touch my heart, my Love. Make me whole.

You are absolutely stunning and beautiful. You ain't same with any others I had ever met. I'm falling head over heels for you. Adrenalin rush in my blood makes my yearning and desire even more desperate than ever. I need to make up my mind real soon.

Anticipation and Enthusiasm. Pure Orgasm.

甜甜的。会让嘴角上扬的。

其实想写blog的感觉几天前就有了，可是就像bowel motion酱，憋久了竟然会写不出，变成了bowel obstruction. 想写的东西，都忘光光了。
很忙。头脑很忙。我是那种如果得不到结论，就会一直去想它，想到我都傻了，像interlectually challenge的人，我都会一直想下去。
想多了，就会心烦意乱。所以我想说，我不想管你了。
最近，生活开始回到现实状况之中。慢慢上轨道，大家都出发了。那种虚拟的假期，只是瞬间orgasm， 过去了就只剩下回忆。
你懂吗？有一种男人我抗拒不了，就是眼睛TMD好看的男人。我曾经爱上的他，也有好看的眼睛。就是眼睛下方有皱纹， 像小钟哥，权相佑等。有些人讲，那是老化，可是他却吸引了我，可能是常笑的人吧。。

我心想说，如果你能逗我笑，而我开心了，我就会珍惜你这个人。
如果说，你的眼睛也有皱纹，我会跟你讲，我愿意一直让你笑下去。
看到你的笑容，我心满意足。
迷恋。

我要去躺躺，想想还没有结论的东西了。咦？说好的幸福呢？

You blew me away with your smile

Its just another begining of a semester.

The adrenaline rush caught me off my guard when I finally saw my nice single room.
Perhaps its kinda unfair to say this, but it took me quite awhile to get used to it. The emptiness and loneliness absolutely had drown me during the first day and night. Hostel life was one of the lovely thing which I look forward to every sem. After spending nearly 20 years of quite a lonely childhood, I enjoyed to the companion of friends more then anything else. I love the fact that I get to share my rooom with my roomie and she is nice. After being used to squeezing in a room, now I have the whole room to myself. It looks so freaking empty and of course quiet at the same time. Maybe I should get a sleeping bag.

There's plenty to look forward for this semester. Challenging and at the same time I need to buck up on my result. Same people same loud voices, its another year with them.

Cant kick off my addiction seems to get myself into the deep waters. Oh my, I need a tight slap each time when the urge is here.

Crush seems happens now and then. It doesnt matter but unfortunately things dosnt seems working in the right way.

Vainity works it's way through and it sweep under my feet making me falling into a deeper trap of indulgement. But I need to pay a price for it.

anyway, I need to stay cheerful isnt it??

And I miss badminton.....

And I miss u all.....

听说。

今天，陪了你一个下午。

我说，我懂了。

和你一起闲走，买日常用品和聊天。

那感觉很好，我喜欢。

累了，一起在cafe喝杯水休息，你玩你的电话，我上我的网。

虽然没聊得天花地乱，可是我就珍惜那个时光。

一起坐下来，吃一顿家常便饭，我期待每天跟你过这样的生活。

一年了，我们同居，我想说，我太开心了因为在我这辈子里遇见你。

我期待接下来和你在一起的日子。

因简单的你，我的生命变得很幸福。

西街小姐，虽然你肥了，可是我还是爱你。哈哈哈。。。

开什么玩笑，她的身材好得不得了，我天天看了都垂涎三尺！！

You are Orange and White

Sometimes It take time for things to happen. I mean, things don't just happen isn't it?
Things left unsaid, leaving a bigger gap between between you and me is better then a unpeaceful mind.
A sudden liking, that implusion, I understand it as well as you did because I felt it too.


花时间，陪朋友，感觉真的很好。要开学了，大家都变得很emo。Emo还不打紧，最讨厌就是看到人家在倒数，天啊根本就天天提醒我，要回去当宅女，不能每天喝茶、逛街、打羽球、要读书。。。。根本就是。。。。SHIT。。。。。
一个礼拜的时间，好像都不够用。从上个礼拜开始，就发了狂似地，几乎我都不在家，常常都在趴趴走。去买个东西都会买上好几个小时。而且，竟然我爱上逛guardian， watson这一类型的店，boutique和shopping不用讲啦！ 还有，我觉得精品店的东西，挺有趣的。闲人就是酱，时间多。
要回去读书了，零用钱变少，就连出门都要出钱租车，真无可奈何~ 还是在麻坡好，有车用，车油父母出，还可以每天趴趴走。
回去宿舍，我有点担心。要走才能买到吃的，在家里我都酱懒惰吃东西， 都是爸爸在准备，他没空我就不吃了，lolx。是不是都要天天instant oat来决解？
还有，我那个烦死人敏感，lecture hall 酱冷，岂不是要痒死我！


最近，好像受到损友得影响，购物欲和食欲特别强！怀孕了吗？
重点就是：我没减到肥，还是那么的胖！ 哇的发~

我很烦恼，我很烦恼。。
突然看到以前的照片。。lol。。我是怎样活过来的。。
为了娱乐大家，小女牺牲小我。。

一岁的我，现在我知道为somok我酱胖了，是天生的！！！！

六岁，八字眉开始出来了。呵呵。。

我应该是在日本读小学，不然我zomok将像小丸子。。。七岁。

移民到印尼，当起女佣了。很黑。十二岁了吧。那个头发，比helmet还要圆!

十三岁，被抓去读书，当书呆子，很不甘愿，因为TA欠我一百万。

被放出来了，十几岁的事我也不记得了。。。

十八岁，开始在马来西亚居住，当这里的公民。

十九岁，妈妈将要相亲，叫我拍照扮老成点儿。老到可以当你娘了吧？？

结婚不成，去读大学，大一freshman的时候，常常被人误会成3rd year senior.

二十一岁了，去了趟泰国，花了些钱，变得比较像人样了吧！！哈哈。。


 哈哈，我真疯了，把这些照片公开。。哈哈。。
下次，我再来post我五年来“整形”的过程吧~

Its just another day for you and me

I repeating myself, its just another day for you and me.
She told me, isn't nice to hold someone by your side and feel the warm of it?
So I did told her that day, you don't just simply hold anybody.
Nearly. I was inconsiderate and inappropriate.
I'm sorry but I guess its time to spit it out. Its not the time for dreams.
But I don't have the courage to tell you face to face.

When that day comes, truth will revealed itself.

天天想你，天天问自己，到什么时候才能告诉你？

Gia Gia~~

And there it is. My lovely babe is waiting for me patiently for me to pick him up. I knew he is the perfect one for me eventhough he is just a normal looking fella. Many others stand out and personally, I might would have fallen for others if He is not there last week to catch my attention. Sorry but my heart belong to him ever since then.

My beloved back pack.

It had been a wise decision that I make to go Malacca on wed and a brilliant choice to shop again at DP even though last week I had just been there.
I just wanna say,
It was a beautiful day,

I'm feeling very very happy. A sense of satisfaction and pure joy.

How much struggle I went through ever since last week i saw that bag. Price was the only factor thats holding me back. At one point I almost give up because I told myself "It ok eli, dun be vain."
But my silly vain brain aint telling me the same thing. it was yelling at me that "You gotta get it cause its looks fabulous!!"

What a chance yesterday! STOCK CLEARANCE. It caught my attention from 100meter away and immediately my soul was drawn to it.
We barged into the shop, just kidding, I walked elegently on my heels into the shop and headed straight to the bag compartment.  I had decided to sex-ed it as him since I love it so much, thinking of it day and night without stopping. I'm stunned at the price dropped( thank goodness I didn't buy it last week or else I would have been deadly heart ache).

The first reaction that I did was I showed my friend that bag and say I'm buying it. Four of us wanted the same back pack but too bad they only left with 2 more including the display item. Irene choosed another more standing out bag which I though it looks awesome! I would have bought that too if aint for this had occupied all the space in my heart. So two of us bought the exactly same bag and three of us were so happy.

Guess what, I cant stop smiling for it. I felt so freaking happy!!

An hour later, I was still smiling and they got so annoyed.

"Spending a day with friends, chicken rice ball, movie, chat time, shi lin, naan & tandoori."
This is what I call as the simplest form of joy which will make u smile all day long.

p/s: Another happy thing, Irene compliments me by saying that I'm a MEI NU and she almost cant recognise me when she came out of the toilet. I say, what else you can say when this come from a hot sexayy babe? lolx

你说·我说

首先，现在此恭喜XC's最近点击率猛升！XC's 狼出名了是不一样的啦！加油~
XC's 是一个很有幽默感却墨水很深的一位艺术家。lol， 艺术家好像有点怪怪的，可是TA是搞创意的呀！部落客比较好吧！还是要叫她牙套+学生妹？哈哈

就最近，发现到很多人爱讲福建话！ FB 都用福建comment， sms也是，重点，外国朋友也跟我讲福建话。
= =！！
很多人说福建话很粗鲁，其他的方言就连骂粗话也比我们斯文。可是我想说，我们很豪气，一点都不扭捏！骂你粗话就让你知道我在骂你，决不伪装！Gan！
来来，让我们把福建话发扬光大。

好啦，今天的重点，就是要跟大家分享一些甜言蜜语很有味道的一些话。
不是FB抄来的哦！

since I know u,

my days had been on a Merry-Go-Round

Giving me differents scenery at different altitude and degrees

記住我說的哦
只要我有機會，我就會追你，把你抱緊，讓你無法徘徊

而其实个性才是真真讨取男人欢心的财产
如果男生都注重女生的外表，那就太low class了

你倒不是漂亮吸引我，而是性格
性格太吸引我了

When I look down at my palms,
I knew that your fingers will fit into the gaps perfectly.

On rainy days like this, I misses the warm of your body.

想念你的美，想念你的味道，想念你的同在。
如果说，爱从眼睛开始，我的心已有你的位子

 I have decided to stop telling you that I miss you till I stop missing you.

生病的时候，最想要得到的，是你的疼爱，你的注意力，还有你的嘘寒问暖。。
没了他们，真的有点寂寞。。。

爱他不是你的错，是我的心不听话。
相爱需要勇气，拒绝需要决心。

I love because you are lovable

I didn't cry because i had given you my heart

I didn't miss you because you are already in my mind

I didn't stay because you were not there

接下来，试一下我常鼓励我自己的话，非常的自恋！

情人眼中出西施
我学会爱我自己的那一刻
我就觉得我是漂亮的了

I love myself. thats a spoonful of self-confidence and a scoop of high self esteem.

因为我的不寻常，才显示他们的平凡无奇。

我也有王子，只是他还没找我。

照镜子，说，
我真是TMD美！

ok thats all for now.. ran out ideas badly...

p/s: 那个在追女朋友的，祝你成功！！

Hatyai, Thailand (2)

Alright here comes the part 2
Before that, just wanna let you know Songklah is about 1hours plus journey away from hatyai town. Those tourist’s sites like temple, floating market, statues, most of them are in Songklah. So if you were to backpack there, you can hire a van, tutu car is too uncomfortable for such a long distance. If girls, go in a group because I heard one of the aunty said her relative’s wife was fetch away by a tutu car and till now is still missing. So just be careful and cautious.

Day 3

Pasar

this is the second pasar. the one that you can buy alot alot alot of stuff...

For me and Rachel, we combed all the three pasar thoroughly. It’s very big. They sell all sorts of things ranging from fashion to food and even utilities. Girls, this is your paradise.  Branded imitations, shoes, clothes, and assessories!!!! You will keep on going

“OMG! It’s so cheap~~”  “look at this, it’s so worth it!!”

But remember to bargain! Start off with the price lower than half of the price tag. If you are the first customer of the day, just offer any price, and they definitely have to sell it to you. They have this pantang larang where they must close deal with the first customer of the day or else they can’t get any business later anymore. But please do not bargain just for fun, you might get into trouble for that.

Guys, this pasar will be your hell. This place is so hot and crowded. You will be scratching your head and asking how can all this girls enjoying their shopping so much in a gigantic sauna?? So I recommend you to leave your girl friends alone and sit down for a coconut drink!

Coconut Drink RM3/RM3.50

The normal green coconut is RM3 and the Kelapa Bakar(Burned coconut)  is for RM3.50. Personally I prefer Kelapa Bakar because it’s so much sweeter than the other. And it definitely taste better.

Lee Garden Plaza

A normal shopping complex with the only McDonald in that area. One of the attractions there is the flea market.they will spread carpet on the floor and sit down to do their business. Again assessories, clothes, souvenirs and even more! I think I should mentioned it here, there are sketching artists( portrait) around in Hatyai and they are very very good at it. Perhaps if u want to have one, prepare a space in that piece of drawing in your luggage. Or else it will be crumpled by the time you come back. Each sketching cost RM20 and takes around 20minute to finish it.

Mango Glutinous Rice RM5

Sweet mango with plain glutinous rice and some sweet sauce.. I have no idea what that sauce is but all that I can say is IT TASTE FABULOUS!!

Fried oyster RM10

The main difference between Muar’s Or Jian and the Or Jian there is the size of the oyster is bigger over there and they do not use tapioca flour in Hatyai.

So that’s it folks.
I think that’s all the information which I still remember about Hatyai, Thailand. If you are aiming for a low budget holiday, I think you should try out this town. The food and accomodations overall its cheaper  and even shopping is so much cheaper! Look out for air tickets if you cant bear the long ride. But I dun mind at all because the bus that I took was very comfortable. Of course with the effect of Double dose of drowsiness, it spared me all the back ache and stiffness. But I find my knee getting stiff and painful after not stretching for few hours( maybe due to the coldness of the air con).

So I shall conclude that my second honeymoon trip with Rachel is a blissful and sweet one. Lol I sounds so wrong. I’m happy to have such a easy going partner  to travel with.

Most important of all, local girls took picture with us just because we are tourist!!! I think we are just too pretty!!

Love this trip to the max!

摇啊摇，摇啊摇。。

我不是女人，
我更加不是男人，
我只是一个活在女人身体里面的男性化灵魂。

我曾经以为，
我这样过得很好，
我就是那么地过着，
也认为我也没不对经的地方。

原来，
我不会当女人。
我没那个女人味，
我也没有女人的逻辑。

你说，
男人跟你拍拖，
根本想跟男人交往，
也不是第一次听到了。

好好反省，
如果跟你讲我想学当女生了，
你应该又要对我说，
咦，你也会酱想啊？

或许，我就该等那个，
会接受这样的我的人，
出现。

或许，
是时候我来学当女人了。
。
。
。
。
。
。
。
。
。
可是， 想一下，
如果我是个不是女人的女人，
那么，
爱上我的男人是什么？
哈！

Hatyai, Thailand

After around 12 hours ride from Muar Johor, finally I arrive in Hatyai, Thailand through Bukit Kayu Hitam kastam. In between there are so many stops for food and toilet but I'm too drowsy to remember them because I had double dose of drowsiness from motion sickness pills and running nose pills. Lol. I'm so drowsy till a point I remember at one of the stop, Rachel need to hold me when I stand up. Alright I’m not going to post all the photo here cause I had already posted them in Facebook. Click here for more.

Day 1

After arriving at Thailand, of course we have our breakfast which is chicken rice.

You definitely never thought of this kind of advertisement right?

I think pineapple, durian, mango and longan is the 4 most popular fruits currently in this season. And I think they taste so sweet and ripe till diabetes patients are not suitable for any of them.

While waiting for bus, we happened to witness the school level sports day parade. According to the tour guide, its Thailand’s district level sport event. Every club has a different theme. Some even came up with witchery costume. One of the biggest differences between Malaysian and Siamese parade is, Malaysian wearing long pants and shoe but Siamese are in HOT SHORT MINI SKIRT and they walk for miles in HIGH HEELS! Bear in mind they are just secondary school children. Salute!

After some visitation to temples, we finally get to check into hotel. I stayed at Kosit Hotel which cost around RM50 per night. It’s  pretty decent and clean.

See their drinking water is not in plastic bottles but in glass bottles with the metal caps! Oh ya so is their Coca-Cola. Seriously I thought glass bottled Coca-Cola had extinct.

Btw look at their I-don’t- know-what-it-call-electric-something. Usually we  have a box to put it in and we can replace it with a harder card instead of the key plate. But this hotel’s is put into the wall! And this is a magnetic starter so you can’t use any normal card.



Alright after exploring our room, we didn’t rest as scheduled, we put on our walking shoes and decided to explore the town on our own. Of course the first thing to do is to exchange currency. In Malaysia is RM1 to 9.90baht, but in Thailand you will get RM1 to 9.95baht.



Ok next I will just labeled everything with its price

Doi Chaang Coffee RM4.50 According to Rachel( cause I don’t drink coffee) its taste very thick and as good as Starbucks. They grind the coffee bean on the spot and you can smell the aroma way before you reach the stall.

Banana Cream Pie RM4.50
Yes that whole cream pie is only RM4.50! At first I thought it was per quarter. It doesn’t taste too sweet or too creamy, at the end you might still longed for more!

Ah Guah Show RM50
There is totally different with Muar’s half-done ahguah. They look so freaking pretty! Very sexy figure with thorough trans surgery. Yes they dun have a bulging bottom front and their boobs are perfectly round and firm! But wait till you hear them speak! That’s when the beautiful dream come crushing down. LOL. The biggest joke of the day was when the photographing session, I walk pass the ahgua. Guess what I heard?

“Boss, come~ Do you wan to see my pussy??”

wtf  Rachel and I were laughing all the way back. Btw you need to give them tips. I gave RM2 per photo.

Day 2

Dim Sum and Bak Kut Teh
Each plate of dim sum cost RM1.40. One thing I must say is the pork taste better in Thailand! It doesn’t have the smelly pork taste and the meat is fresh! Bak kut teh is around RM9 per share. Btw, they are very generous with their ingredients. So no worries for big eaters with their pocket!

Next we headed off to Songklah. More temples to go.



Royal Pagoda RM3
Its RM3 per entrée. You need to take a lift to reach the middle hill. I think is kinda waste of time. But you get to see both the South china Sea and the beach.

Coconut ice-cream RM3
This can be found anywhere near tourist site. But if you are already here at Royal Pagoda, try it first! It has bread, coconut flesh, atap seed, jelly, coconut flavoured ice cream and some beans. It taste fabulous! It is a Must to try!

More photograhs on tourist sites. We went to to see the dragon, the cat and the mermaid. It’s the second statue of mermaid in the world.

Floating market
Every portion of the food here cost RM2. They have all kinds of kuih muih and drinks.

Look! The have this cute clay cup for drinks, Yes you can bring it back after you pay.

Highlight of the day is we finally got a chance to taste FRIED INSECTs! Frankly I think they taste good! Rachel say grasshopper not bad.
But I think that black beetle is too hard and has a weird taste.
We both thinks that cricket is the best and the worms are just normal.
You should see how other tourist went eeewww… yucks…… when we put them into our mouth. They taste salty and crunchy, that’s all. But when we offer them some,  they make a big fuss while putting them into their mouth, but the next second when chewing them, they decided to get themselves another pack! LOL I told ya, it taste good!

*to be continued*