*blink blink*

I must had mentioned it to you, otherwise how would you know what am I talking about all this while.
It came kinda too abrupt, but perhaps I should seen traces and premonitions about what is going to happen.
I welcome you with a chary soul, taking each step with deliberated pause, watching you crossing over the border of my heart. I had let you in with a blissful sentiment, rolling waves caught me off my guards.
Your care and attentions are puffy clouds that style the bright empty sky. I say, hey there, are you a cotton candy?

你要的爱。

虽然不曾怀疑你，还是忐忑不定
谁是你的那个唯一，原谅我怀疑自己。

我明白，我要的爱，会把我宠坏，
像一个小孩，只能在你怀里坏。

你要的爱，不只是依赖，
像个大男孩，风吹又雨打，生活自由自在。

对不起，我好像给不了你要的爱，
它的出现，太远了，我不想去追。

开不了口，它跟我的喉结纠缠，
我看着你，惭愧了，心虚了。

我们放下吧。两年的时间很久，
我会好好的充实自己，成为很棒的那个人。

那天，我们再续，你我都会很完美的结合。
可是，别犹豫地去爱，你我都可以。

不想你了。我会狠下心不再这样，不一样的，想你。

昨天，我还有想到你。

突然发现到，我旧的手机里竟然还有你的讯息，而且看了我心有五分钟情起伏不定。看到我对你说话的口气，我觉得我也有过去，一个我不太想去怀念的过去。虽然我们有快乐过，可是我觉我真的不听话，那个洞是我自己跳下去的，结果就是我感觉到疼了。你们说的对，那是我自找的，活该！

今天我想说，人看开一点，对人对事如果能好好去经营，或许结果会不一样。我向前迈进，有点孤单。我本来就是这样的人，你们把我约束的太紧了，如今我繃开你们的圈圈，有点撇下你们的感觉。可是我真的和你们的生活方式不太一样，我无法接受，曾经努力过配合你们，可是这样的生活无法满足我空虚的心灵。

我讨厌那样的我，黑黑的，像臭虫一样，会给人讨厌！还有那莫名其妙在我手上留下污质的虫，现在我手上留疤了！(就以前听过人家说有一种虫尿在皮肤上会留疤，我发现过后就拼命戳破皮肤，哪里知道它会退掉，另一处我磨破皮肤的就留疤了！）或许人家并不觉得那样得我很令人讨厌，可是我都不喜欢我自己，还会有更糟的事吗？

我自恋，我知道，你知道，他也知道。哈！好像大家都知道。上课都会自拍一下。

可是我觉得自我感觉良好，真的会让人多一份自信，做起事来也会快乐一点点。
努力去做自己喜欢的东西，那份喜悦，也会让你有自信。
可是你懂吗？喜欢的东西不一定是容易的，或许某些程度上的困难，让那东西更有挑战性。我跟男人一样，喜欢那种很难得到的感觉，越是艰难，越想得到它。
应该说，越漂亮的东西，肤浅的我越要占有它，彻底地征服。
它就是a-Lin。
之前朋友跟我讲，你不是应该给它取个名吗？想了几天，也决定好了，


它就是a-Lin.

还有，法文也快把我搞疯了。上完法文课，我都有飘飘的感觉。。

前阵子都有跟家人拍照，挺开心的，因为我好像没有全家福。

哥哥长得像妈妈，我却长得像谁呢？难道我就是传说中从垃圾桶抱来的孩子吗？哈哈。。

Just for you

“看不懂，看不懂！”
你的心声。

Mystified Complexion

You know what makes me smile just like the innocent child who was in the amusement park. That tangling smell of happiness is always there. You knew it all along isn't it?

Criminals leave traces here and there and that's how they got caught. A smart one would know that he need to wipe his ass clean before he leaves. I noticed and forecast. Perhaps I should not be in the picture in the first place. Things would not had end so soon. Please forgive my selfishness.

It had been days when I last thought of you. Perhaps time washes away those memories, those feeling I have for you, its going away bits by bits. You know what? I survived.

So I did, survived. But things had been different. You brand me into someone like yourself, which I detest it, but I chose to be like you.

Days passed, the moon still rises in the dark sky. Complications of entangled sensations, I'm showered by affections. I'm as obfuscated as before, passion and zeal caught me off my guard.

Please touch my heart, my Love. Make me whole.

You are absolutely stunning and beautiful. You ain't same with any others I had ever met. I'm falling head over heels for you. Adrenalin rush in my blood makes my yearning and desire even more desperate than ever. I need to make up my mind real soon.

Anticipation and Enthusiasm. Pure Orgasm.

甜甜的。会让嘴角上扬的。

其实想写blog的感觉几天前就有了，可是就像bowel motion酱，憋久了竟然会写不出，变成了bowel obstruction. 想写的东西，都忘光光了。
很忙。头脑很忙。我是那种如果得不到结论，就会一直去想它，想到我都傻了，像interlectually challenge的人，我都会一直想下去。
想多了，就会心烦意乱。所以我想说，我不想管你了。
最近，生活开始回到现实状况之中。慢慢上轨道，大家都出发了。那种虚拟的假期，只是瞬间orgasm， 过去了就只剩下回忆。
你懂吗？有一种男人我抗拒不了，就是眼睛TMD好看的男人。我曾经爱上的他，也有好看的眼睛。就是眼睛下方有皱纹， 像小钟哥，权相佑等。有些人讲，那是老化，可是他却吸引了我，可能是常笑的人吧。。

我心想说，如果你能逗我笑，而我开心了，我就会珍惜你这个人。
如果说，你的眼睛也有皱纹，我会跟你讲，我愿意一直让你笑下去。
看到你的笑容，我心满意足。
迷恋。

我要去躺躺，想想还没有结论的东西了。咦？说好的幸福呢？

You blew me away with your smile

Its just another begining of a semester.

The adrenaline rush caught me off my guard when I finally saw my nice single room.
Perhaps its kinda unfair to say this, but it took me quite awhile to get used to it. The emptiness and loneliness absolutely had drown me during the first day and night. Hostel life was one of the lovely thing which I look forward to every sem. After spending nearly 20 years of quite a lonely childhood, I enjoyed to the companion of friends more then anything else. I love the fact that I get to share my rooom with my roomie and she is nice. After being used to squeezing in a room, now I have the whole room to myself. It looks so freaking empty and of course quiet at the same time. Maybe I should get a sleeping bag.

There's plenty to look forward for this semester. Challenging and at the same time I need to buck up on my result. Same people same loud voices, its another year with them.

Cant kick off my addiction seems to get myself into the deep waters. Oh my, I need a tight slap each time when the urge is here.

Crush seems happens now and then. It doesnt matter but unfortunately things dosnt seems working in the right way.

Vainity works it's way through and it sweep under my feet making me falling into a deeper trap of indulgement. But I need to pay a price for it.

anyway, I need to stay cheerful isnt it??

And I miss badminton.....

And I miss u all.....